Oi, it's been a while since I've blogged...anywhere. I blame twitter...and then move on.
The two things I really want to blog about I can't say much about. One is just personal for now and the other is something I can't say too much about for safety reasons*. In a way they are kind of related which is kind of nice. Makes for an easy transition in this blog.
Almost every other time I blog it seems I mention (vaguely) some girl that I like and this time is no different. This is, however, probably the longest I've gone without tweeting or blogging about something like this, mostly because I'd like to think I've developed a bit more self-control about how much I share online, but I'm allowed a little indulgence every now and then. It's all about moderation, right? I've decided that since I've already told my sister who I like I can at least say something about it to the rest of y'all. I'm not going to divulge any names (including that of the guy my sister said she likes...we made a pact that involves dismemberment if either party tells), but I just want to vaguely blog about this more as a release.
Looking back, I realize that I liked her since the earliest memory I have of knowing who she was. At the time it was just a simple crush, and I'm sure I had a few crushes at the time and I had more interaction with those others, so she got pushed out off the radar. I'm not sure what brought her back onto my radar, but it was probably around when I heard her talk about something** she is passionate about. I admired her passion about it and it was something that I'd had on my mind/heart for a while as well. I'm sure it was more than just coincidence, but I need to remember the wise words of The Oceanic Six's song, "Mr. Eko"***: Don't mistake coincidence for fate. I'm not saying it isn't but I just want to be cautious with my heart in case she isn't the one****.
Anyways, since the time she's been back on my radar I've tried been looking for ways to pursue her. At first I just left a flower where she'd see it, but I never left any indication that it was me*****. I've also just been looking for any hints that maybe she likes me as well, but results are inconclusive at the time. In other words, there have been a few things that I could have read into but were most likely nothing special. I just need to find a way to say what I think when I'm around her or see her or even something that just reminds me of her. A friend recently told me to just go for it, but even though I've been a bit bolder about other things recently, I still can't get past my insecurity about how to pursue her. Right now, I'm just praying for open doors and continuing to strive to be the person I hope she's looking for. By that last part I don't mean I'm trying to change who I am for her. I'm just trying to focus on improving a higher relationship: one with my Savior******. So....yah, that's about enough vagueness/rambling about that for now.
Now for the other thing I wanted to blog about. If you've seen my status updates on Facebook or if you follow me on twitter you've probably seen me mention that I'll be going overseas this summer. This is something that's been on my heart for a while and something I've been seeking God's will about for a while. It started as a seed planted back at a summer camp during my middle school years and has been growing into something bigger ever since. This isn't just a see the world thing, even though I've wanted that for a while. I'm the type that is comfortable with just staying where I'm at and enjoying that as much as possible. The thing is that 1) most things worth talking about happen when we break out of the comfortable and take a risk, 2) the life I've been given isn't supposed to be an easy one *******, and 3) the Great Commission isn't just fulfilled at home, it involves some amount of "going".
I know you're all wondering where it is that I'll be going, but all I can say is that it is a former Soviet Republic in Eastern Europe. More than anything I'm hoping for friends (or even strangers) to be praying for me and the guys I'm going with as we prepare to go and then once we're there to continue praying for us********. If anyone would like to help out financially (tax deductible donation), let me know (it'll have to get in by April 1st, just FYI) and I can let you know how. For now we're just coming together as a team and starting to learn/practice things that we'll need. As the weeks get closer I'm getting more excited, but right now it almost doesn't feel real, and it probably won't until just before we head out. I'll be leaving around the end of May, and if anyone wants to be there to see me off or when I come back I'll give more specific dates when I know the details.
BTW, if you're wondering how the two things are related, I'm not gonna say here. Sorry. Always leave 'em guessing, I say.
Almost forgot the Doctor Who and "verse of the moment"
Status of Doctor Who watching: All caught up with the last of David Tennant's run as the Doctor, eagerly awaiting the new season with Matt Smith, and the last episodes of the classic series I saw was The Aztecs. I'm also caught up on The Adventures of Sarah Jane (spin-off).
Verse of the Moment: Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
Footnotes (because I like to copy things other bloggers do):
* Not so much my safety as that of others.
** I say "something" not b/c I don't remember what it was, but b/c I'm usually vague about stuff, and that makes it easier for others to relate to this feeling. Or at least that's my excuse.
*** Available now at DFTBArecords.com if you like pop/dance type music and the TV show LOST
**** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrUMmU6fxK0 (at least I know her name, but I think guys can relate to this song sometimes)
***** I can be a romantic but sometimes I need to think these things through a bit more or else it could come off more creepy than sweet/romantic.
****** Like that saying goes: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." I believe this could be another reason she came back on my radar.
******* That doesn't mean we aren't given the tools to be able to succeed or any help along the way, though.
******** There'll be a team blog for anyone who wants to updates while we're over there. I'm fairly certain that's the right link. I'll change it if not.
