Today was the first day back to school @ NMSU...but not for me. Amanda tho, is still going back because she can still get loans to offset tuition or possibly even completely cover it. I, on the other hand, have reached the loan limit. Ya, after so long they figure most people would be done and out in the real world. Well, I've got news for you: I'm not most people :-p
"Well, then get a job to help pay your tuition" you say. That is what I've been trying for all summer but with no luck, and it's really frustrating. Frustrating that I don't know why I'm not getting ANY call backs. Frustrating that this is the 2nd fall semester I've had to miss out on b/c of $$ issues. Frustration at my self for not having been done with school by now and in the real world working a real job (and by "real" I mean not minimum wage). Frustrating because I won't get to see all my school/Cruces friends as often unless I can get hired up there and move in with some friends. And finally, frustrating b/c I'm 25, jobless, with no degree, and still living with my parents.
Oh, and did I mention that I might be slightly masochistic. I say this b/c I was given the option of staying home all day doin a bunch of nothing or going up to NMSU with my sis and mom for Amanda's first day back. Of course, I knew it would hurt to see people I knew or even just a whole bunch of strangers going through their first day back and knowing I'm left out of it. And unlike last fall, I'm not living up there so I can't still feel like part of the crowd. If I wanna handle it the same way, I'd have to drive up everyday, which isn't easy to someone economically challenged. But at least I got my car working again (stupid new battery died on me for a bit) so I don't have to ask to borrow the parent-mobile when I do get those moments.
At least I'm not alone on the being jobless in this house. So far we're all still unemployed, but at least Mom and Dad have been getting calls and such. Just keep us all in your prayers/thoughts b/c it's starting to get frustrating and trying for us all. It's gonna be a rough fall, but I know God will provide in many ways. Just wish I knew how and when, lol! But the not-knowing part is what makes faith so powerful. Amen? ("Amen!")
8.03.2008
Adventures of a bum
I'm wondering if short weekly updates, even if they're just a little bit longer than twitter updates, might be the way to go. But with me it's hardly ever that condensed. We'll see...
It's been about 2-3 months and really nothing much has happened. Well, I mean I've done stuff like hanging out with friends in El Paso, watching movies, gone bowling, done dinner with groups, and filled out a few applications (by a few, I mean a lot...but no response so far )-: ). But for the most part it's been a lot of sitting at home re-reading through books, wasting time on stupid addicting facebook apps, or channel surfing thru digital cable (BBC Amercia is my new fav). But at least I'm not the lone bum at home. The whole family is stuck jobless with not much to do but fill out more applications and hope someone says yes. It's a sad site really, but dad's got his garden hobby back which is cool.
Another benefit is that I've had time to look thru all my stuff and slowly declutter and focus. Gets me thinking about what's really important and what I really need in my life. Like, do I really wear this or use this or read that or do I just keep them around b/c of memories? Another part is it'll be something I haven't used or worn in a very long time but I'll rationalize it by saying that one day I'll need it or have the right occasion for it and it will have been worth it to keep it. *sigh* packrat syndrome...is there a 12-step program for that?
"Hi, my name is Sean and...I'm a packrat."
"Hiiii Sean!"
The more I think about it though, a lot of it is stored either digitally (like on iTunes or digital pics online) or in my head as memories I can access anytime. And the books can mostly be found at a library - remember those?
And anyways, to keep all this stuff like it's mine and no one else's is pretty darn selfish. I should take a hint from the early Christian church in Acts (2:45) who "sold their possessions and goods and divided them among all, as anyone had need" I'm just thankful for those reminders of how things aught to be to keep me in check (2 Timothy 3:16).
Plus, if I end up moving in with the guys up in Cruces the less stuff I bring the better since space'll be limited. Speaking of going back to Cruces...I'm 98% sure I won't we taking any classes this semester. My focus is just gonna have to be on working and saving up and such. Hopefully I can get a job in a school for experience. But if no place else hires I think I'm gonna have to do what a good percentage of my friends have done recently...go to work at a call center. Nothing against my friends or the businesses, it's just that it's not where I'd choose to work. But the pay is better than I'd get most places, especially without a degree yet. But anyways that only happens if the schools say no.
I think that about sums up where I'm at. Want more updates? check out my Twitter feed or find me on facebook or if you wanna see where i'm wasting my time online follow me on me.dium.com (enough shameless promotion...I'd do it more but they aren't payin me yet :-p)
It's been about 2-3 months and really nothing much has happened. Well, I mean I've done stuff like hanging out with friends in El Paso, watching movies, gone bowling, done dinner with groups, and filled out a few applications (by a few, I mean a lot...but no response so far )-: ). But for the most part it's been a lot of sitting at home re-reading through books, wasting time on stupid addicting facebook apps, or channel surfing thru digital cable (BBC Amercia is my new fav). But at least I'm not the lone bum at home. The whole family is stuck jobless with not much to do but fill out more applications and hope someone says yes. It's a sad site really, but dad's got his garden hobby back which is cool.
Another benefit is that I've had time to look thru all my stuff and slowly declutter and focus. Gets me thinking about what's really important and what I really need in my life. Like, do I really wear this or use this or read that or do I just keep them around b/c of memories? Another part is it'll be something I haven't used or worn in a very long time but I'll rationalize it by saying that one day I'll need it or have the right occasion for it and it will have been worth it to keep it. *sigh* packrat syndrome...is there a 12-step program for that?
"Hi, my name is Sean and...I'm a packrat."
"Hiiii Sean!"
The more I think about it though, a lot of it is stored either digitally (like on iTunes or digital pics online) or in my head as memories I can access anytime. And the books can mostly be found at a library - remember those?
And anyways, to keep all this stuff like it's mine and no one else's is pretty darn selfish. I should take a hint from the early Christian church in Acts (2:45) who "sold their possessions and goods and divided them among all, as anyone had need" I'm just thankful for those reminders of how things aught to be to keep me in check (2 Timothy 3:16).
Plus, if I end up moving in with the guys up in Cruces the less stuff I bring the better since space'll be limited. Speaking of going back to Cruces...I'm 98% sure I won't we taking any classes this semester. My focus is just gonna have to be on working and saving up and such. Hopefully I can get a job in a school for experience. But if no place else hires I think I'm gonna have to do what a good percentage of my friends have done recently...go to work at a call center. Nothing against my friends or the businesses, it's just that it's not where I'd choose to work. But the pay is better than I'd get most places, especially without a degree yet. But anyways that only happens if the schools say no.
I think that about sums up where I'm at. Want more updates? check out my Twitter feed or find me on facebook or if you wanna see where i'm wasting my time online follow me on me.dium.com (enough shameless promotion...I'd do it more but they aren't payin me yet :-p)
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