I guess if I were to make a New Years resolution it could be to blog more. I say that because there are a lot of thoughts going thru my head that I want to think thru more or feel should be put down "on paper". I can usually organize my thoughts better when writing/typing them. Plus it's harder to mumble when typing so this way people understand me better than when I speak.
So, anyways...Just got back from a month in South Carolina staying with Mom and Dad for the holidays (aka Holidays with the Halladays). It's bittersweet being back. I miss having them close and getting "spoiled" with home cooked meals and free laundry and talking with them more than once a week or every few weeks. I even kinda miss the cat, but not so much this year b/c she seemed to be barfing once a day or every other day and we don't know why. SC is starting to feel more and more like a 2nd home (and Mesa, AZ being a 3rd home of sorts). One thing I wish we had started earlier before me and Amanda left was organizing the picture collection. There are some "ancient" pictures there and a lot of good memories. Plus I think I saw the parents' wedding pictures (the complete set at least) for the first time, or at least the first time actually looking at them. If you check out my latest pics on here you'll see some of the photos we ran across and wanted to upload. If we had been there longer I would have liked to upload some of the wedding pics. Oh well, coulda shoulda woulda.
Another thing that's really been on my mind is a girl, and just the idea of love/dating/courtship. I wish I were brave enough to say who it is, but since I haven't expressed my feelings right out to her yet I don't think I should let the whole world know...ya know, just in case it doesn't work out. A few people know who and some of how I feel, but I think it was just me needing to talk to more than just myself about her. The thing is, I think there may be some mutual attraction but sometimes I mistake a girl that I like being friendly for something more, so I'm trying not to jump to conclusions (*random tangent: that phrase always makes me think of "Office Space", haha*). I also don't want to jump into a relationship before I really have gotten to know her as a friend which is where I think I've gone wrong in past relationships. A book I just recently re-read that has made me really think about how to approach this is "Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello To Courtship" by Joshua Harris (a sequel of sorts to "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"). I want to come at this from a Godly perspective, and respecting her. Some of the things he mentions that I want to put into practice are getting permission from her Dad/parents, but seeing as I don't know them or have any way of contacting them my best bet is to wait til we are closer as friends and possibly thinking of moving to the next step (if it even comes). Joshua suggests tho, that if her parents aren't close by to pay them a visit, you might also broch (sp?) the subject with her pastor or someone with that kind of relationship to her. Another thing is getting others involved spiritually, and being accountable to others about your feelings and the relationship in general. This helps by getting somewhat objective views on if it's a good idea or if the relationship honors God as well as each other. These are thoughts that sometimes seem antique or just get left out of a lot of relationships these days, and thus, in my opinion part of the reason people become seriel daters and what leads to such a high divorce rate. We fall in love (or lust) and then when the feeling goes away we think we don't love them anymore and decide to move on or end up cheating on them just to get the high of newly in "love" again. I've got enough thoughts on this to fill a whole 'nother blog, so I'll get back to what got me started on this. Basically I'm just putting this out there so that this isn't bottled up as much as it has been, and I guess also for any input about how to go about this. I'm torn between being brave and asking her on some kind of a date (whether its a group thing, romantic, or an environment that's not necessarily "romantic" but helps us get to know each other better before really committing to anything) or just waiting it out a bit longer and looking for doors that God opens along the way (or doesn't open). Both carry some risks: the first choice risks outright rejection or rushing in before we really know each other and find we don't have as much in common as we/I thought; and the other way risks that I wait too long and someone else could jump in and I'll regret not having done something. That second risk has happened quite a bit, the most recent of which resulted in them marrying that other person. In the end tho, on that front I appreciate that I still know them as friends and didn't ruin that friendship with romance and I see over time that the person the end up with is better for them than I could have been. Sure I was heart-broken for a bit but after that passes I can be happy for them and happy for me because that just means that God has something much better in mind for me. And I've found waiting on God's perfect timing never disappoints!
Since this is already entirely too long, I kinda wanna end with asking for prayer about the above topic as well as:
--my car - been having some problems but fixing them requires money I don't have which brings me to the next one
-- a job - I need one so that I can afford the things I need (food, things related to transportation) or have to pay for (tuition, loan repayments, rent) or help my parents with (rent, car insurance, and possibly even my own health/dental insurance eventually)...right now tho this also needs to be balanced with the next one
-- school - I need to get past one class specifically to move on, but it's also made me question whether teaching is really what I want to do...the only problem with that is if I do change, that means being in school even longer than I've already been and that means more tuition and/or loans. A thought that's crossed my mind is to drop out for now, get a full-time job and finishing school when I've got a better idea what I really want to do and can save up to where I wouldn't need more loans. Subbing is one idea that sticks out at the moment if I were to go that route...
For now, I guess that's it. Til next time, vaya con Dios, and don't be a stranger =)
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Now playing: Rascal Flatts - Take Me There
via FoxyTunes
1.14.2008
10.27.2007
Time to man up?
Today I brought up my application for a missions team next summer to my sis, and she reminded me about getting approval from Mom and Dad. Well, actually it's been in the back of my mind, and she just forced it to the front =|.
At this point, I can't be sure they'll say yes or think it's the best thing for me right now. I'm already behind in my degree plan and I know that I need to focus on getting to where I should already be by now, and they don't want me to be sidetracked with anything else. I know this and I understand it...
But this is also making me face whether doing the overseas thing is what God wants or just something I want. I'm I trying to rationalize it to myself by thinking it's what God wants me to be doing right now as opposed to in the future, when things are more settled and figured out. I told a friend recently that sometimes we have a feeling that we think is God's answer to our prayer(s), when it's might just be something we want and our heart lies to us and says it's what God wants...and we get disappointed when God gives the real answer which isn't what our heart told us. I'm wondering if I need to consider that myself.
Either way, sometime this next week I need to have the talk with my Mom and/or Dad about this and see how they feel and say what I think about this. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for the answer...
One of the other thing I've been wrestling with is my commitment to a group I'm a part of (for the sake of keeping drama at bay I won't name it here). The group and what it stands for and does overall is great in my book. What's getting to me and making me question my commitment is some of the stuff that goes on, which has started to get to me especially recently. I tolerated it and kept silent for a while. But it's not encouraging and not an environment I want to be in, nor do I think it's beneficial for me to stay. I've wanted to say something about it, especially since there's been hurtful talk against friends of mine (inside and outside of the group), but I'm pretty much a chicken when it comes to speaking my mind so it hasn't happened =/ I've decided that either I'll speak up about it or just quit the group by the end of this semester. I hope to at least keep good relations with some of the group tho and I know I've at least made some good friends thru being in this group so I'm thankful for that. It's just gotten to a point where I don't think I can stay, and a few friends of mine saw that a while ago. I thought maybe things might change or that I could be a sort of "light in the darkness" but it seems things might not improve for a while so....in the words of Fall Out Boy: "Thanks for the memories, even tho they weren't so great" =/
there's a few other things I need to face up to, examine, or work things out with, but those are a bit more private so there may be a private blog to come...
If ya think about me from time to time, say a prayer or two. It would help and I'd appreciate it. Thanks!
At this point, I can't be sure they'll say yes or think it's the best thing for me right now. I'm already behind in my degree plan and I know that I need to focus on getting to where I should already be by now, and they don't want me to be sidetracked with anything else. I know this and I understand it...
But this is also making me face whether doing the overseas thing is what God wants or just something I want. I'm I trying to rationalize it to myself by thinking it's what God wants me to be doing right now as opposed to in the future, when things are more settled and figured out. I told a friend recently that sometimes we have a feeling that we think is God's answer to our prayer(s), when it's might just be something we want and our heart lies to us and says it's what God wants...and we get disappointed when God gives the real answer which isn't what our heart told us. I'm wondering if I need to consider that myself.
Either way, sometime this next week I need to have the talk with my Mom and/or Dad about this and see how they feel and say what I think about this. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for the answer...
One of the other thing I've been wrestling with is my commitment to a group I'm a part of (for the sake of keeping drama at bay I won't name it here). The group and what it stands for and does overall is great in my book. What's getting to me and making me question my commitment is some of the stuff that goes on, which has started to get to me especially recently. I tolerated it and kept silent for a while. But it's not encouraging and not an environment I want to be in, nor do I think it's beneficial for me to stay. I've wanted to say something about it, especially since there's been hurtful talk against friends of mine (inside and outside of the group), but I'm pretty much a chicken when it comes to speaking my mind so it hasn't happened =/ I've decided that either I'll speak up about it or just quit the group by the end of this semester. I hope to at least keep good relations with some of the group tho and I know I've at least made some good friends thru being in this group so I'm thankful for that. It's just gotten to a point where I don't think I can stay, and a few friends of mine saw that a while ago. I thought maybe things might change or that I could be a sort of "light in the darkness" but it seems things might not improve for a while so....in the words of Fall Out Boy: "Thanks for the memories, even tho they weren't so great" =/
there's a few other things I need to face up to, examine, or work things out with, but those are a bit more private so there may be a private blog to come...
If ya think about me from time to time, say a prayer or two. It would help and I'd appreciate it. Thanks!
9.13.2007
Changes
This is my first semester not being in school...but I'm still living on campus. It's weird. I miss seeing friends as I walk to my next class or seeing them often in the student union around lunch time. Until I get a new job I'm pretty much stuck at home reading, going online, or vegging in front of the tube. It gets kinda old after a bit. I guess I need to attack those applications a bit harder. Thankfully there's still Christian Challenge (gotta get used to calling it that instead of BSU...they're starting to charge us oldies -- or at least threatening to -- if we get caught saying BSU!) and PSP or else the most human interaction I'd get regularly would be from my sis. Nothing against her...well not much, lol j/k Manda!...but really, I need more human interaction or I might go nuts!
On the subject of change, I'm starting to wonder if I want to stick with major or find something I can finish quick with what I have that doesn't involve the one class keeping me in school. I know I should just stick with it and hopefully get out of here in the next 2 years or so (still have 1 & 1/2 years after I get past that class...*sigh*), but I'm just so fed up with that class. I mean I know why its a pre-req, but just let me move on already and I promise I'll take it!
There're other things that either need to change, improve, or move past, but right now I'm too tired to think or write about. Maybe some other time...or if I see you in person or talk to you some other way, you could just ask
On the subject of change, I'm starting to wonder if I want to stick with major or find something I can finish quick with what I have that doesn't involve the one class keeping me in school. I know I should just stick with it and hopefully get out of here in the next 2 years or so (still have 1 & 1/2 years after I get past that class...*sigh*), but I'm just so fed up with that class. I mean I know why its a pre-req, but just let me move on already and I promise I'll take it!
There're other things that either need to change, improve, or move past, but right now I'm too tired to think or write about. Maybe some other time...or if I see you in person or talk to you some other way, you could just ask
8.08.2007
p.s.
p.s. the highlight of my day was a reece's with banana cream flavor in honor of Elvis or something (one of his favorite snacks was a peanut butter and banana sandwich). If you see one in your local convenience store or checkout counter, you should definately grab one, b/c they are awesome!
New Orleans or bust?
...bust 
As some of you know, I was suppossed to be on my way to New Orleans as of yesterday. The plan was to drive my car to San Marcos and meet some people there who I would then ride with to The Big Easy. Well the biggest possible hitch to that plan happened yesterday around 4:30m/5:30c. First, the oil light came on and started fading in and out, so I thought "When I hit the next town I'll stop somewhere and put some oil in or something". Next thing I know the car dies and slowly stops. Luckily tho, it stopped within less than a mile of a Border Patrol checkpoint close to Sierra Blanca. I check a few things and then decide to walk up to the station and see if they can help, still not knowing for sure what happened to my car.
As I'm walking up I call my family to let them know what's up, and then one of the officers comes out and asks what's up. I tell him and they bring me inside, give me some water (maybe I should have left in the morning?) and call Tony who owns a mechanic shop/tow service in Sierra Blanca. While I'm waiting, I update the people I was supposed to meet with and my family.
So, Tony comes and takes me and my car down to SB to see what the problem is. After a few minutes of checking the oil, the battery, and anything else surface level that could have caused the problem, he tell's me it's either the engine itself or something that carries the oil to the engine, but nothing for sure. He asks where I come from and says that if I can't find a friend or someone to come down and get my car and me he can tow me to El Paso...for about 250 bucks!
I don't have that much but I call my mom again and tell her, and she gives me a few suggestions on who to call. So I start calling around, even to Amanda who is currently up in Glorietta, NM for "Student Week" with the BSU to see if anyone up there knows of someone still in LC that can come get me and my car....no luck. And no luck with everyone else I had a number for. Of course, this all takes a few hours partly b/c cell phone service in SB is spotty and there were only like two or three spots with-in a 15-foot radius that had good enough service to call or text. By this time, I'm pretty frustrated and starting to worry that my options are either stay in SB overnight trying to figure something out or calling Tony back (he closed the shop for a few hours and also had to take care of his sick wife for a bit) and asking him to take me to El Paso. I chose the latter after consulting with my mom. They transferred the money and I called Tony and then a few friends in EP to see if 1) I could have the car towed to their house and/or 2)get a ride back to LC.
The only friend I could get a hold of was Lina (thanks, BTW if you're reading this!) but after a few back and forth games of call/text tag (bad service among other things) and a couple of changes of plan it's determined that I'll tow the car to the Casa Nissan service center and then she'll pick me up and take me back to LC (actually, Shaun...again, thanks!...was the one that came to get me, and then dropped me off at UTEP's Miner Village). Keep in mind tho that Tony doesn't get back til sometime after 9 or 10 because he's helping other motorists and such. Finally, about 10:30 we get the car hitched up to his truck and make the trek back to EP and everything works out fine. I leave a brief note in the car window to let the dealership know why this car is sitting in their parking lot and tell them to call me in the morning so I can get the keys to them and they can take a look at it.
So I get home sometime after midnight feeling pretty down that my trip was ruined, but thankfull for the Border Patrol, Tony, Lina, Shaun, my mom and sister. I send off a quick email to the head honchos of the Phi Sigma Pi (which is why I was going to NO in the first place) explaining what happend and asking what should be done since I was supposed to be the delegate for our chapter at the business part of the meeting, and then finally head off to bed. Thankfully I have until Monday off from work so I can get stuff done with the car and other things that I need to get done.
Fast forward to today. I take my sister's car (she got a ride with someone else to Student Week) down to the dealership to give them the keys. I notice tho, that the coolant temp is getting closer to the dangerous level so I take it easy on the gas and turn off the AC which helps a little. I don't worry to much and figure I'll just put some coolant in when I get to the dealership. After waiting for Mike (the guy I talked to there) to stop flirting with his girlfiriend, I finally get my keys to him and he says he'll call tomorrow to let me know if they found what was wrong. As I walk back to Amanda's car to try and put the coolant in. The cap was on tight and plus it felt a little hot, and since the sticker on the cap says not to remove when hot I decided to try again later when I get back or something after it's had time to cool down. I then notice that one of the tires looks pretty low, so I find a nearby gas station and put some air in. When I take the hose out I hear a hisssssss coming from from the tire and feel air coming out. At this point I'm feeling like I'm somehow bad luck with cars or something. I decide to take the car to Wal-Mart's tire center and see if there's something they can do, but by the time I get there I don't feel or hear the air coming out and the tire center looks pretty busy anyway. I still need to let the car cool down so I can get the cap off where the coolant goes so I wander around Wal-Mart for about an hour. I try the cap again and fianlly get it off and add the coolant. The tire still looks fine so I drive back to LC.
And that brings the story to now...Amanda's car is ok...for now, and my car...well, I'm still waiting hear about that. Either way there is no chance of me getting to New Orleans by tomorrow unless they can pay for me to fly out there or something. Bummer, I guess, but at least I'm safe and not stranded in the middle of nowhere...
As some of you know, I was suppossed to be on my way to New Orleans as of yesterday. The plan was to drive my car to San Marcos and meet some people there who I would then ride with to The Big Easy. Well the biggest possible hitch to that plan happened yesterday around 4:30m/5:30c. First, the oil light came on and started fading in and out, so I thought "When I hit the next town I'll stop somewhere and put some oil in or something". Next thing I know the car dies and slowly stops. Luckily tho, it stopped within less than a mile of a Border Patrol checkpoint close to Sierra Blanca. I check a few things and then decide to walk up to the station and see if they can help, still not knowing for sure what happened to my car.
As I'm walking up I call my family to let them know what's up, and then one of the officers comes out and asks what's up. I tell him and they bring me inside, give me some water (maybe I should have left in the morning?) and call Tony who owns a mechanic shop/tow service in Sierra Blanca. While I'm waiting, I update the people I was supposed to meet with and my family.
So, Tony comes and takes me and my car down to SB to see what the problem is. After a few minutes of checking the oil, the battery, and anything else surface level that could have caused the problem, he tell's me it's either the engine itself or something that carries the oil to the engine, but nothing for sure. He asks where I come from and says that if I can't find a friend or someone to come down and get my car and me he can tow me to El Paso...for about 250 bucks!
I don't have that much but I call my mom again and tell her, and she gives me a few suggestions on who to call. So I start calling around, even to Amanda who is currently up in Glorietta, NM for "Student Week" with the BSU to see if anyone up there knows of someone still in LC that can come get me and my car....no luck. And no luck with everyone else I had a number for. Of course, this all takes a few hours partly b/c cell phone service in SB is spotty and there were only like two or three spots with-in a 15-foot radius that had good enough service to call or text. By this time, I'm pretty frustrated and starting to worry that my options are either stay in SB overnight trying to figure something out or calling Tony back (he closed the shop for a few hours and also had to take care of his sick wife for a bit) and asking him to take me to El Paso. I chose the latter after consulting with my mom. They transferred the money and I called Tony and then a few friends in EP to see if 1) I could have the car towed to their house and/or 2)get a ride back to LC.
The only friend I could get a hold of was Lina (thanks, BTW if you're reading this!) but after a few back and forth games of call/text tag (bad service among other things) and a couple of changes of plan it's determined that I'll tow the car to the Casa Nissan service center and then she'll pick me up and take me back to LC (actually, Shaun...again, thanks!...was the one that came to get me, and then dropped me off at UTEP's Miner Village). Keep in mind tho that Tony doesn't get back til sometime after 9 or 10 because he's helping other motorists and such. Finally, about 10:30 we get the car hitched up to his truck and make the trek back to EP and everything works out fine. I leave a brief note in the car window to let the dealership know why this car is sitting in their parking lot and tell them to call me in the morning so I can get the keys to them and they can take a look at it.
So I get home sometime after midnight feeling pretty down that my trip was ruined, but thankfull for the Border Patrol, Tony, Lina, Shaun, my mom and sister. I send off a quick email to the head honchos of the Phi Sigma Pi (which is why I was going to NO in the first place) explaining what happend and asking what should be done since I was supposed to be the delegate for our chapter at the business part of the meeting, and then finally head off to bed. Thankfully I have until Monday off from work so I can get stuff done with the car and other things that I need to get done.
Fast forward to today. I take my sister's car (she got a ride with someone else to Student Week) down to the dealership to give them the keys. I notice tho, that the coolant temp is getting closer to the dangerous level so I take it easy on the gas and turn off the AC which helps a little. I don't worry to much and figure I'll just put some coolant in when I get to the dealership. After waiting for Mike (the guy I talked to there) to stop flirting with his girlfiriend, I finally get my keys to him and he says he'll call tomorrow to let me know if they found what was wrong. As I walk back to Amanda's car to try and put the coolant in. The cap was on tight and plus it felt a little hot, and since the sticker on the cap says not to remove when hot I decided to try again later when I get back or something after it's had time to cool down. I then notice that one of the tires looks pretty low, so I find a nearby gas station and put some air in. When I take the hose out I hear a hisssssss coming from from the tire and feel air coming out. At this point I'm feeling like I'm somehow bad luck with cars or something. I decide to take the car to Wal-Mart's tire center and see if there's something they can do, but by the time I get there I don't feel or hear the air coming out and the tire center looks pretty busy anyway. I still need to let the car cool down so I can get the cap off where the coolant goes so I wander around Wal-Mart for about an hour. I try the cap again and fianlly get it off and add the coolant. The tire still looks fine so I drive back to LC.
And that brings the story to now...Amanda's car is ok...for now, and my car...well, I'm still waiting hear about that. Either way there is no chance of me getting to New Orleans by tomorrow unless they can pay for me to fly out there or something. Bummer, I guess, but at least I'm safe and not stranded in the middle of nowhere...
8.02.2007
Vacation and a holiday from school?
To start off, for those of you who haven't heard yet, by this time next week I should be in New Orleans. This'll be my first trip to N'Awlins...never got to experience it pre-Katrina =( It'll still be pretty cool I'm sure and I'll get to see somewhat how they've bounced back and rebuilt. In case you're wondering, I'm going as a delegate to the National Convention for the honor fraternity I'm in (Phi Sigma Pi). This is the 2nd year I've been the delegate, but the first time that the convention part is combined with the "Grand Chapter" part (basically like a much bigger, much longer regular chapter meeting), and the first time that I'll be the only one from my chapter there. Luckily, I know how it works and know a lot of people that will be there so I'm not so worried. I might need to brush up on my Robert's Rules/parliamentary procedure a little before I go, but otherwise I'll be fine. The only thing I'm working out right now is transportation. I think what I'll be doing is meeting up with one of the TX chapters that's halfway from here to there and then car pooling with them, b/c they have enough space in their car(s). So, that's a big blessing cuz being a delegate was a last minute thing for me so I didn't have time to save up for a flight and I don't think my car would make it that far (it's not in horrible condition but it's probably better not to push it) plus driving that far alone es no bueno.
Now, to explain the 2nd part of this entry's title. Right now, I'm still short quite a bit on last semester's tuition. That means I can't register for this coming semester until I pay that off. Let's just say it's not something I can get past with just one paycheck...so chances are unless I get a loan or win the lottery out of nowhere this could be a real problem. I'd already be going into my 3rd year of being a senior, and now it looks like it'll take even longer. So, what would I be doing if not going to school? Well, first I'd have to find a new job b/c my current job is a "student job" (not work study) kinda like when I worked at the Pan Am, so if I'm not a full time student then I can't have that job. Stinks a little that it's like that but I understand, so whatever. What I'll probably be looking for is either being a sub or a teacher's assistant. I need to get apps/resumes in ASAP tho b/c the public schools are starting in like a week or so. Granted I'll have to say I can't start right away cuz I'll be out of town when most of them start, but if it's meant to be then it'll work out, I'm sure.
The only other thing that not going to school next semester would majorly affect is my membership with PSP. I would have to go inactive which is not something our chapter needs right now, but I can't be active unless i'm in school at the time. I can still come back next semester or next fall -- if it comes to that -- but after that I can't officially be in it. I just don't like the idea of leaving them one person shorter right now cuz right now our size is where everyone is an officer and I just took on the newly combined role of secretary (used to be 2 positions). So, if you're going to NMSU, have a 3.0 and this isn't your 1st or last semester, check it out. If you wanna know more about it, ask me. Hey, if I can't be an active member I can at least recruit for them right? ;-)
That's about it for now. I'll give an update when I get back from NOLA, N'Awlins, New Orleans, w/e you wanna call it :-p
Now, to explain the 2nd part of this entry's title. Right now, I'm still short quite a bit on last semester's tuition. That means I can't register for this coming semester until I pay that off. Let's just say it's not something I can get past with just one paycheck...so chances are unless I get a loan or win the lottery out of nowhere this could be a real problem. I'd already be going into my 3rd year of being a senior, and now it looks like it'll take even longer. So, what would I be doing if not going to school? Well, first I'd have to find a new job b/c my current job is a "student job" (not work study) kinda like when I worked at the Pan Am, so if I'm not a full time student then I can't have that job. Stinks a little that it's like that but I understand, so whatever. What I'll probably be looking for is either being a sub or a teacher's assistant. I need to get apps/resumes in ASAP tho b/c the public schools are starting in like a week or so. Granted I'll have to say I can't start right away cuz I'll be out of town when most of them start, but if it's meant to be then it'll work out, I'm sure.
The only other thing that not going to school next semester would majorly affect is my membership with PSP. I would have to go inactive which is not something our chapter needs right now, but I can't be active unless i'm in school at the time. I can still come back next semester or next fall -- if it comes to that -- but after that I can't officially be in it. I just don't like the idea of leaving them one person shorter right now cuz right now our size is where everyone is an officer and I just took on the newly combined role of secretary (used to be 2 positions). So, if you're going to NMSU, have a 3.0 and this isn't your 1st or last semester, check it out. If you wanna know more about it, ask me. Hey, if I can't be an active member I can at least recruit for them right? ;-)
That's about it for now. I'll give an update when I get back from NOLA, N'Awlins, New Orleans, w/e you wanna call it :-p
4.20.2007
Maroon and Orange Effect Day
For at least this year we can recognize this day as something other than a reference to a certain drug. But it's not that much happier except that as a result a lot of college students have become a lot closer across the nation. Today we forget our pride in our own schools and today we are all Hokies. Whether it's shown through the wearing of a black ribbon or armband or wearing VT's school colors (maroon and orange), today we show that our hearts are united with theirs.
Another thought on my mind today (and kinda off and on this week) as I thought about the shooter, was what happened in his life that brought him to this point? Was he excessively teased or made to feel worthless by people with higher incomes? Did anyone try to reach out to him on a regular basis or did they just ignore him thinking he was weird? I've had times in my past when I was teased and ignored...and sometimes have those moments when I feel alone, but then I am reminded of the friends I do have and those who have reached out to me and made me feel special and worthless. A song that kinda relates to this train of thought and which inspired me to write this today is Superchic[k]'s "Hero" (Red Pill Remix). I wanna post the lyrics and let them speak for themselves:
Verse:
No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong do you go along?
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It's not like you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
Any kindness from you might have saved his life
Tag:
Heroes are made when you make a choice
Chorus:
You could be a hero
Heroes do what's right
You could be a hero
You might save a life
You could be a hero, You could join the fight
For what's right for what's right for what's right
Verse:
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out a hero is made
Tag
Chorus
Verse:
No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he's made
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it's his right
The choices he makes change a nine year old's life
Tag
Chorus
Little Mikey D. was the one in class who everyday got brutally harassed
This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door, grabbed the four-four out of his father's dresser drawer
And said I can't take life no more
And like that life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin' it's not my responsibility to solve a problem that isn't about me
This is our problem
This is just one of the daily scenarios which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice and be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged
Now it's our time to pick a side
So don't keep walkin' by
Not wantin' to intervene
Cause you wanna exist and never be seen
So let's wake up and change the world
Our time is now
Chorus:
You could be a hero
Heroes do what's right (our time is now)
You could be a hero
You might save a life (our time is now)
You could be a hero, (our time is now) You could join the fight
Another thought on my mind today (and kinda off and on this week) as I thought about the shooter, was what happened in his life that brought him to this point? Was he excessively teased or made to feel worthless by people with higher incomes? Did anyone try to reach out to him on a regular basis or did they just ignore him thinking he was weird? I've had times in my past when I was teased and ignored...and sometimes have those moments when I feel alone, but then I am reminded of the friends I do have and those who have reached out to me and made me feel special and worthless. A song that kinda relates to this train of thought and which inspired me to write this today is Superchic[k]'s "Hero" (Red Pill Remix). I wanna post the lyrics and let them speak for themselves:
Verse:
No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong do you go along?
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It's not like you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
Any kindness from you might have saved his life
Tag:
Heroes are made when you make a choice
Chorus:
You could be a hero
Heroes do what's right
You could be a hero
You might save a life
You could be a hero, You could join the fight
For what's right for what's right for what's right
Verse:
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out a hero is made
Tag
Chorus
Verse:
No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he's made
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it's his right
The choices he makes change a nine year old's life
Tag
Chorus
Little Mikey D. was the one in class who everyday got brutally harassed
This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door, grabbed the four-four out of his father's dresser drawer
And said I can't take life no more
And like that life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin' it's not my responsibility to solve a problem that isn't about me
This is our problem
This is just one of the daily scenarios which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice and be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged
Now it's our time to pick a side
So don't keep walkin' by
Not wantin' to intervene
Cause you wanna exist and never be seen
So let's wake up and change the world
Our time is now
Chorus:
You could be a hero
Heroes do what's right (our time is now)
You could be a hero
You might save a life (our time is now)
You could be a hero, (our time is now) You could join the fight
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