The Ides of March

Ceasar was warned about this day long ago. I don't think it had anything to do with the day itself. It's not "unlucky" like any Friday the 13th. It just basically means the middle of the month but you still don't normally associate good things when you hear about the Ides of March. Right now it's just bringing to mind the things I'm concerned about, not necessarily anything I need to "beware", just stuff that I want to be different.

The first thing is that I'm still without a job. I've been lookin and applying off and on for at least a month to no avail. I think maybe I'm not trying hard enough, not taking it seriously. My parents help me out with a certain amount at the beginning of each month and now my sister has a job, so I don't have to worry about getting by, but I'm getting tired of not having my own money anymore to do with what I want. Then again I haven't used what I have wisely b/c usually near the end of the month I somehow manage to overdraw my account (at least I have overdraft protection). I do my best to keep in mind how much I still have whenever I'm spending. The problem is I don't keep any official record. I mean I keep receipts and occasionally check my balance at the ATM or online, but I don't really keep track of the receipts and since I mostly pay with my debit card the balance isn't always up to date because it often takes a while for transactions to show up. I wonder if that's just b/c of my bank tho b/c I've seen commercials that I think were for another bank where the transaction shows up automatically. Maybe I should just switch to that bank, b/c it's starting to really peeve me. But, anyway, back to the job situation. Someone suggested that I go back to working for Special Events but right now that wouldn't do me much good b/c as far as I know there aren't that many big events around this time of year and I need something more regular. It's tempting but not very practical at the moment.

Then there's also my social life or practical lack thereof. I have friends and I don't know of anyone that hates me, yet I am usually stuck at home doing nothing and seeing evidence online that my friends are doing stuff and going places. Maybe I just need to get up off my tush and start doing something, anything just so I'm not sitting on the couch or in front of the computer when I'm not doing homework. But even when I'm with other people I get the occasional "hi" or "how are you?" but not much else deeper than that except for a little bit of jokin around. I think part of it is that I should seek out conversation myself instead of waiting for it to come to me cuz the latter hasn't really worked so far. Or like I said just a while ago I need to get off my tush and get involved in stuff, like ultimate frisbee or something else going on on campus. It's not like I'm purposefully avoiding people and I'm not a total homebody. The one thing I've never really had is a best friend, or at least one thats around for more than a few years. During those times I could usually count on something to be happening or at least something to talk about.

*sigh* so the warning for me on this Ides of March should be "Beware unemployment and a lack of a social life." Not as foreboding as the one Ceasar received but it's still got my attention. I guess the best thing to do now tho is just give it to God b/c obviously I haven't been able to fix it myself or else you wouldn't be reading about. Off to bed now I guess, and tomorrow we'll see if the Aggies can actually dance their way past Durant and the Longhorns.