Today was the first day back to school @ NMSU...but not for me. Amanda tho, is still going back because she can still get loans to offset tuition or possibly even completely cover it. I, on the other hand, have reached the loan limit. Ya, after so long they figure most people would be done and out in the real world. Well, I've got news for you: I'm not most people :-p
"Well, then get a job to help pay your tuition" you say. That is what I've been trying for all summer but with no luck, and it's really frustrating. Frustrating that I don't know why I'm not getting ANY call backs. Frustrating that this is the 2nd fall semester I've had to miss out on b/c of $$ issues. Frustration at my self for not having been done with school by now and in the real world working a real job (and by "real" I mean not minimum wage). Frustrating because I won't get to see all my school/Cruces friends as often unless I can get hired up there and move in with some friends. And finally, frustrating b/c I'm 25, jobless, with no degree, and still living with my parents.
Oh, and did I mention that I might be slightly masochistic. I say this b/c I was given the option of staying home all day doin a bunch of nothing or going up to NMSU with my sis and mom for Amanda's first day back. Of course, I knew it would hurt to see people I knew or even just a whole bunch of strangers going through their first day back and knowing I'm left out of it. And unlike last fall, I'm not living up there so I can't still feel like part of the crowd. If I wanna handle it the same way, I'd have to drive up everyday, which isn't easy to someone economically challenged. But at least I got my car working again (stupid new battery died on me for a bit) so I don't have to ask to borrow the parent-mobile when I do get those moments.
At least I'm not alone on the being jobless in this house. So far we're all still unemployed, but at least Mom and Dad have been getting calls and such. Just keep us all in your prayers/thoughts b/c it's starting to get frustrating and trying for us all. It's gonna be a rough fall, but I know God will provide in many ways. Just wish I knew how and when, lol! But the not-knowing part is what makes faith so powerful. Amen? ("Amen!")
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